practicals
Ro3 № 34
Thursday, 05Sep2019
“Fall down twice, get up three times.”Probably related/derived from the old Japanese proverb Nana korobi, ya oki which translates as “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”
Comments
Gibbs Rule #16
Thursday, 05Sep2019
“If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it.”
“If it works, it’s true.”
Thursday, 05Sep2019
“If a pattern of belief or behavior enables a being to survive and to accomplish chosen goals, than that belief or behavior is “true” or “real” or “sensible” on whatever levels of reality are involved.”
Situational vortex
Friday, 02Aug2019
The outdoor humorist Patrick F. McManus had a piece where he talked about the situational vortex. Before you can do one simple task, you have to do another task that gives you what you need to do the first. And before you can do the second, there is a third and fourth that you really should take care of.
Working on my lexicon is sometimes like that.
I'd never heard the term black moon before. But in order to define that, I really needed to have a short blurb on February. And if I was going to do that, I really needed to do the rest of the months in the timetable as well. I'd only been putting it off for a year. Or five.
Anyway, a situational vortex is why sometimes something that seems simple ends up taking forever. Adding to a list of political links means going through the lexicon and finding the terms that are political. Then it means cross referencing those entires to the politics entry.
I enjoy it but it takes time. And it's not immediately obvious to the reader.
Working on my lexicon is sometimes like that.
I'd never heard the term black moon before. But in order to define that, I really needed to have a short blurb on February. And if I was going to do that, I really needed to do the rest of the months in the timetable as well. I'd only been putting it off for a year. Or five.
Anyway, a situational vortex is why sometimes something that seems simple ends up taking forever. Adding to a list of political links means going through the lexicon and finding the terms that are political. Then it means cross referencing those entires to the politics entry.
I enjoy it but it takes time. And it's not immediately obvious to the reader.
Gibbs Rule #15
Thursday, 01Aug2019
“Always work as a team.”
“That which is sent, returns.”
Thursday, 01Aug2019
“Everything contains its opposite.”
Thursday, 18Jul2019
I used to think that this was a silly thing Christians used to hide their own insecurity. And if I had my druthers, I'd put this is a caution box with the red banner and be done with it.
Read More...Gibbs Rule #11
Thursday, 11Jul2019
“When the job is done, walk away.”
“If anything can go wrong, it will.”
Thursday, 11Jul2019
Keep a notebook
Wednesday, 10Jul2019
“Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than gray matter, and lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.”
Not the thing
Thursday, 13Jun2019
“Like attracts unlike; energy and actions often attract their “opposites.””
Three Laws of Thermosecurity
Thursday, 23May2019
“Only the mountain has lived long enough to listen objectively to the howl of the wolf.”
Ro3 № 32
Thursday, 23May2019
“Once again there was the desert, and that only.”— Stephen King, The Gunslinger
Ro3 № 31
Thursday, 23May2019
“In the old days, you would chastise people for reinventing the wheel. Now we beg, 'Oh, please, please reinvent the wheel.' ”
Gibbs Rule #4
Thursday, 23May2019
“Mirrored Ceilings and Criss-Crossed Stairwells Give a Chinese Bookstore the Feeling of an M.C. Escher Woodcut”
Read More...The future
Thursday, 16May2019
“The future is not laid out on a track. It is something that we can decide, and to the extent that we do not violate any known laws of the universe, we can probably make it work the way that we want to.”
Gibbs Rule #3?
Thursday, 16May2019
McGee Rule #70
Thursday, 16May2019
❝Humans do change the planet. But humans don't change the climate.❞— NeoWayland, anthropogenic climate change
Coward's way
Tuesday, 07May2019
NeoNote — the American compromise
Tuesday, 16Apr2019
Like calls to like
Friday, 29Mar2019
❝If we wrap ourselves in sorrow and pain and misery and self-loathing, then that is exactly what we attract.❞— NeoWayland, Invoking passion for failure or success?
Two wolves
Wednesday, 20Mar2019
“An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story.
I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.
But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."”— Two Wolves from First People
DiNozzo Rule #3
Thursday, 07Mar2019
“Never underestimate your opponent.”
❝I already knew that the teachers were lying to me.❞
Thursday, 07Mar2019
“Nature favors those organisms which leave the environment in better shape for their progeny to survive.”
DiNozzo Rule #1
Thursday, 28Feb2019
“Don't sit on the sidelines while your people are in trouble.”
Nature favors
Thursday, 28Feb2019
“The Gods and Goddesses of myth, legend and fairy tale represent archetypes, real potencies and potentialities deep within the psyche, which, when allowed to flower permit us to be more fully human.”
Third best, second best, best
Friday, 22Feb2019
“Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading.”
Curveball
Thursday, 21Feb2019
“If you’re not ready to find exceptional things, you won’t discover them.”
Gibbs Rule 1?
Thursday, 21Feb2019
“I don't care who gets the laughs on my show, as long as the show is funny.”
Abby Rule #9
Thursday, 07Feb2019
“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.”
Strength and growth
Thursday, 07Feb2019
“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”
Ro3 № 28
Thursday, 07Feb2019
❝There are three types of history. There's the Official History™, there's the stories that people tell, and there's what really happened.❞— NeoWayland, Synchronicity, coincidence, perception, and perspective, see also Rules of Three
Ro3 № 27
Thursday, 31Jan2019
❝A living faith draws from three sources. There's what others have done before you. There's who you are and what you've done. And finally there's the link you make to the Divine. The dynamic tension shapes your faith.❞— NeoWayland, Faith Triad, see also Rules of Three
Ro3 № 24
Sunday, 20Jan2019
“Study: People Who ‘Microdose’ LSD and Magic Mushrooms Are Wiser and More Creative”
Read More...One tripod leg
Thursday, 13Dec2018
❝The lore behind magick is only one tripod leg. Even there it's about real mastery, not rote recitation. I call it moving beyond the recipe. When you can adapt your technique to what is there and what is needed with a minimum of effort, that's mastery. The lore is about core ideas, not specific practices. That's one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn and I am not good enough with it yet.❞— NeoWayland, A Rule of Three
NeoNote — First lesson
Sunday, 09Dec2018
These blog entries have been reformatted and entered into the current directories. Redirect pages have been placed in the old locations.
Read More...Ro3 № 16
Monday, 19Nov2018
“In which Mike Rugnetta teaches you about Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, and how a lot of their work was influenced by myth and mythology. While Freud and Jung aren't quite as revered as they once were, they were undoubtedly a huge influence on the practice of psychology and psychiatry, and these two fellas were undoubtedly influenced by foundational stories. Today, we'll learn about Oedipus, the collective unconscious, archetypes, Star Wars, and more!”
Read More...Ro3 № 15
Friday, 16Nov2018
❝Don’t hold someone responsible unless they were present, of age, and participating. Remember the Practical Grudge Limit.❞
Ro3 № 14
Thursday, 15Nov2018
❝Know what you can do. Know what you're willing to do. Know the price you're willing to pay.❞— NeoWayland, Rules of Three
❝When animus and anima meet…❞
Wednesday, 14Nov2018
Duality and non-duality
Wednesday, 14Nov2018
The flip side of placebo
Wednesday, 14Nov2018
Pain can be a self-fulfilling prophecy“Expect a shot to hurt and it probably will, even if the needle poke isn't really so painful. Brace for a second shot and you'll likely flinch again, even though - second time around - you should know better.
That's the takeaway of a new brain imaging study published in the journal Nature Human Behaviour which found that expectations about pain intensity can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Surprisingly, those false expectations can persist even when reality repeatedly demonstrates otherwise, the study found.
"We discovered that there is a positive feedback loop between expectation and pain," said senior author Tor Wager, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado Boulder. "The more pain you expect, the stronger your brain responds to the pain. The stronger your brain responds to the pain, the more you expect."
For decades, researchers have been intrigued with the idea of self-fulfilling prophecy, with studies showing expectations can influence everything from how one performs on a test to how one responds to a medication. The new study is the first to directly model the dynamics of the feedback loop between expectations and pain and the neural mechanisms underlying it.”
Ro3 № 12
Tuesday, 13Nov2018
❝What you think you know is not what you need to know. Where you are is not where you need to be. Who you believe you are is not who you were meant to be.❞— NeoWayland, Rules of Three, see also Systematically
Ro3 № 11
Monday, 12Nov2018
“In which Mike Rugnetta teaches you about the stories we tell about witches and hags. It's definitely unfortunate that a lot of social orders have generated stories about evil women with magical powers. Today we're going to look at a few of those stories, and talk a little about why these stories appear, and what they mean.”
Read More...Ro3 № 10
Friday, 09Nov2018
❝To ease your pain and shame, share it separately with three people you trust.❞— NeoWayland, Rules of Three
Ro3 № 9
Thursday, 08Nov2018
❝Honor expects three warnings before you act.❞— NeoWayland, Rules of Three
Ro3 № 8
Wednesday, 07Nov2018
“This week, Mike is teaching you about the most mythic of mythological creatures: Dragons. Cultures across the world (and across Westeros) tell stories of dragons, and their power to destroy, their power to prop up kings, and their power to cause a nice, refreshing rain shower. ”
Read More...Ro3 № 7
Tuesday, 06Nov2018
These blog entries have been reformatted and entered into the current directories.
Read More...Revived - November 2, 2018
Friday, 02Nov2018
“Every person has the right to control their own sexuality, and nobody else’s.”— Maggie McNeill, Standing in the Rain
Ro3 № 5
Friday, 02Nov2018
❝If you care for the other person, if you respect them, if you share deep passions with them, then the sex makes all that better.❞
Ro3 № 4
Thursday, 01Nov2018
❝Start by listening. Before you say anything, listen again. Just to make sure you understand, listen some more.❞
Ro3 № 3
Wednesday, 31Oct2018
Ro3 № 2
Tuesday, 30Oct2018
❝The Wheel turns, bringing Bright and Dark Blessings to us all.❞— NeoWayland, Good Journey Isaac
Practical rules of three
Monday, 29Oct2018
❝We can't afford blind faith.❞— NeoWayland, Eyes open and watching carefully
Ro3 № 1
Monday, 29Oct2018
❝Start by listening. Before you say anything, listen again. Just to make sure you understand, listen some more.❞
The pedestal problem
Tuesday, 23Oct2018
❝I am Pagan because I was born that way, and because I made that choice long before I was born.❞— NeoWayland, Why are you Pagan?
NeoNote — He would deny it
Friday, 19Oct2018
❝Your desire does not control another's choice.❞— NeoWayland, sexual beings
So the paganism bothers you too.
Tuesday, 04Sep2018
“In which Mike Rugnetta teaches you about the hero of The Congo, Mwindo! Mike will tell you the stories of Mwindo's birth, his many deaths, and his evolution from a braggy superhuman baby to a wise, superhuman leader of his people. Along the way, we'll learn about the Wiki game, and when you should and shouldn't drink banana beer.”
Read More...NeoNote — Excuse for sex
Monday, 06Aug2018
WebTree fire festival & cross quarter day. Harvestpoint marks the beginning of fall and the return of the dark, staring at sunset the day before the midpoint between the summer solstice and the autumnal equinox and ending at sunset on the day after (traditional three days).
Searching The Wild Hunt
Sunday, 22Jul2018
“Mike Rugnetta is going to tell you stories of death, destruction, divine judgment, damnation, and the occasional happy ending. That's right, this week we're talking about the Apocalypse. Actually we're talking about a bunch of ways the world could end. Prepare for stories of the end times from Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Christianity, and Islam! It's the (mostly) Abrahamic Apocalypses on Crash Course World Mythology.”
Read More...I rub people the wrong way
Friday, 13Jul2018
❝When feelings are high, I rub people the wrong way. I focus on getting things working and leaving the emotional stuff for later. It's practical in a business setting but doesn't work with most long term pagan groups. I recognize that passion drives us, but it's not a good tool for effective decisions.❞
Fantasy setting
Saturday, 30Jun2018
I was working on the lexicon and realized I had totally forgotten Isaac Bonewits' The Laws of Magic.
Read More...Shower in the sunlight
Sunday, 10Jun2018
NeoNotes - clergy claims
Wednesday, 30May2018
I'm seeing people using their victimhood to control what others in the group will do.
Read More...Broken
Tuesday, 29May2018
Meditate
Tuesday, 22May2018
The magic circle
Thursday, 17May2018
I've had three deaths in the past month. One a friend, one an uncle, and one person who I did not get along with.
Read More...Purpose of ritual
Thursday, 17May2018
Between that and the floating, it's a pretty good bet that this depicts a psychedelic trip.
Read More...NeoNotes — Women's studies
Sunday, 13May2018
❝Okay, seriously though, and this relates to one of my long standing criticisms of women's studies (and any number of gender studies, skin color studies, etc.)
If these various fields of study have any worth at all, they have to acknowledge that they are only part of the picture. Limiting your studies to one subgroup is going to limit your understanding. Especially if you dismiss without question other subgroups. It's the difference between rigorous study and fantasyland. It's why the theoretical has to cross over with the practical. It's not enough to say how things should work, you have to examine how things actually work together. You have to look outside your preconceptions and expectations for the things you can't explain. Otherwise you never leave the echo chamber.
Or, women's studies without human studies is sh*t.❞
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.
Practical philosophy
Sunday, 13May2018
“This week, we continue our look at various Pantheons, and Mike digs deep into the gods of the ancient Greeks. We're talking Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hades, Artemis, Hephaestos, Ares, and Apollo. We're also talking Jupiter, Juno, Neptune, Pluto, Diana, Vulcan, Mars, and...Apollo. Similar gods, different names. We'll start with the origin stories of the gods, talk about their family relationships, and what exactly their specialties are.”
Read More...Difference between the Story and the Journey
Thursday, 08Mar2018
Acquiring knowledge
Thursday, 08Mar2018
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”
NeoNotes — multiple intelligences
Wednesday, 07Mar2018
❝It's important to understand that The Bell Curve deals with intelligence, not potential ability. As a rough definition, measurable intelligence is the practical knowledge and skills necessary for a given set of problem solving. There are probably multiple intelligences, each with it's own scope and limitations. The upshot of which is that English literature doesn't grant the ability to tune up a motorcycle. "Street smarts" won't help you balance a checkbook.
I did say probably. The theory does have it's detractors, but it is effective. Much of the problem lies in the definition of "intelligence."
Look at it this way. Leg presses build up your torso and leg muscles, but don't do much for your arms or hands. Different muscle groups are used for different things and they aren't all useful for everything. Likewise, different intelligences work for you in different situations.
I've got three problems with Gardner's original model. He didn't allow for as yet undefined intelligences (he fixed that when he added to the original group). And he left out two obvious (to me anyway) intelligences. First, he didn't distinguish between gross motor coordination (a baseball pitcher) and fine motor coordination (a jeweler). Second, he didn't allow for awareness and interaction with the Divine. Historically and across many cultures, there have been examples of this particular intelligence, even if we ourselves don't understand it well. I call it gnostic intelligence, the identifying and labeling is my own small contribution to Gardner's theory.
Jordan Peterson would be the first to tell you not to treat anyone as the absolute authority on everything, including himself. While I admire Peterson's work, my studies and experiences have shown that Gardner's theory does produce practical results. Too many results to dismiss the theory out of hand.
Peterson didn't say IQ, he said intelligence.
I still think much of the problem is in the definition of that word "intelligence." It's not a general problem solving ability. As you pointed out, Gardner used examples who were extremely gifted in one area but deficient in others. That alone means that "intelligence" as it's usually defined is inaccurate.
I just wrote a short piece at my pagan slice-of-life blog going into further detail. I understand if people here don't want to go there, so I'll sum up. An intelligence is a set of mental tools that can solve a problem. What works with one challenge won't work with another, anymore than you could exchange a pipe wrench with a smartphone and expect the same results.
I understand your concerns, but I still think the problem here is in the definition of that word "intelligence."
For example, you might be able to recite Shakespeare, but I'm pretty sure you can't speak Navajo. While those skills are probably related (sort of - the Navajo use different assumptions about time & distance), neither gives you the skill to bake a cake from scratch or help you deal with the loss of a loved one.
We develop patterns of behavior that we use to deal with life. Sometimes we have the patterns we need, sometimes not. But there are patterns that just don't help with other things.
The problem isn't with multiple intelligences, the problem is with a badly defined word that doesn't really do what we are asking.❞
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.
Okay, this is a terrible oversimplification, but I have to explain if I expect people to understand.
I said above that much of the problem is in that word "intelligence." Understand, the word is not the thing. Just because you have a symbol for something doesn't mean you have the thing itself. Manipulating the symbol doesn't let you manipulate the thing unless unless you've built the framework and links. Your cell phone is the front end of a very complex network, pressing 7 on the phone does nothing unless you are connected to the network.
And yes, magick works the same way. The symbol is not the thing.
Intelligence in it's strictest sense is not something easily measured. We know it's an approximation. We use chronological age to calculate the intelligence quotient. We know it's not linear. We know that gaining intelligence has to do with the plasticity of the brain. That slows down after the age of 25 or so. We know that older people find it difficult to gain new intelligence and adjust behavior patterns, especially if those behavior patterns have generated passion in the past.
Not success, but passion. Your brain doesn't care if it's "bad" or "good," "successful" or "failure." The feedback mechanism isn't designed to distinguish between positive or negative, only the amount of passion.
And yes, obviously that means that the more you focus on how bad you failed, the less likely you are to achieve your result.
Gods, I could write pages on the passion feedback loop, but it really does boil down to three words. Amount, not polarity.
With that in mind, let's refine the definition from my NeoNote above. Measurable intelligence is the practical knowledge and skills necessary for a given set of problem solving AND the ability to change the knowledge and skills as needed.
In other words, it's not enough to succeed. You need to adjust your thinking and skills as needed for new situations.
Intelligence IS NOT general problem solving. The ability to compose a song does not translate to the ability to weave a rug. A sledge hammer doesn't work as a screwdriver. A pry bar won't start a fire.
So let's refine the definition again. Remember, this is still only an approximation. An intelligence is a set of mental tools that can solve a problem.
With that definition, it's easier to accept that you use one mental toolkit for English literature and another for algebra. Hence, different intelligences.
One last thing, the picture above is not complete. I already wrote about the differences between gross motor coordination and fine motor coordination. And of course there's gnostic intelligence. There are almost certainly intelligences that haven't been identified yet.
An intelligence is a set of mental tools that can solve a problem.
I said above that much of the problem is in that word "intelligence." Understand, the word is not the thing. Just because you have a symbol for something doesn't mean you have the thing itself. Manipulating the symbol doesn't let you manipulate the thing unless unless you've built the framework and links. Your cell phone is the front end of a very complex network, pressing 7 on the phone does nothing unless you are connected to the network.
And yes, magick works the same way. The symbol is not the thing.
Intelligence in it's strictest sense is not something easily measured. We know it's an approximation. We use chronological age to calculate the intelligence quotient. We know it's not linear. We know that gaining intelligence has to do with the plasticity of the brain. That slows down after the age of 25 or so. We know that older people find it difficult to gain new intelligence and adjust behavior patterns, especially if those behavior patterns have generated passion in the past.
Not success, but passion. Your brain doesn't care if it's "bad" or "good," "successful" or "failure." The feedback mechanism isn't designed to distinguish between positive or negative, only the amount of passion.
And yes, obviously that means that the more you focus on how bad you failed, the less likely you are to achieve your result.
Gods, I could write pages on the passion feedback loop, but it really does boil down to three words. Amount, not polarity.
With that in mind, let's refine the definition from my NeoNote above. Measurable intelligence is the practical knowledge and skills necessary for a given set of problem solving AND the ability to change the knowledge and skills as needed.
In other words, it's not enough to succeed. You need to adjust your thinking and skills as needed for new situations.
Intelligence IS NOT general problem solving. The ability to compose a song does not translate to the ability to weave a rug. A sledge hammer doesn't work as a screwdriver. A pry bar won't start a fire.
So let's refine the definition again. Remember, this is still only an approximation. An intelligence is a set of mental tools that can solve a problem.
With that definition, it's easier to accept that you use one mental toolkit for English literature and another for algebra. Hence, different intelligences.
One last thing, the picture above is not complete. I already wrote about the differences between gross motor coordination and fine motor coordination. And of course there's gnostic intelligence. There are almost certainly intelligences that haven't been identified yet.
An intelligence is a set of mental tools that can solve a problem.
Limiter
Thursday, 22Feb2018
We walk between the worlds
Wednesday, 21Feb2018
❝As a pagan, I've long since learned that the World isn't mine to control.❞
NeoNotes — Define magick
Tuesday, 20Feb2018
“Neither bound by tradition nor decree, but my own actions and deeds.”
Bound
Saturday, 17Feb2018
❝“This is the world, there is no other.” That’s the limiter. Everything moves because of dynamic balances, magick is the essence of change and evolution. Life changes. Magick moves. We connect.❞— NeoWayland, Dirty hands
Can't keep the magick
Friday, 16Feb2018
Imposed
Tuesday, 13Feb2018
“True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.”
Great work
Tuesday, 13Feb2018
“It's long been a point of mine that the freedom of religion, which this country alleges to support, works two ways. We're not only free to practice the religion of our choice, we should be free from having someone else's religion practiced on us.”
Not a belief
Tuesday, 13Feb2018
I wonder. If a symbol can be "tainted" no matter what it was used for previously, what does it take to "purify" the symbol?
Read More...A bonding behavior
Tuesday, 30Jan2018
So.
I've been researching. I've been talking and writing people. I've been trying to understand exactly how we got into this mess with sex where seemingly no one knows what is going on.
I think it's simpler, and then we try to make it complicated.
The two most common purposes of sex are fun (including the hormonal rush) and bonding. The problem comes when we confuse these purposes.
If you are using sex for fun, it's not going to be emotionally fulfilling. It won't be the basis of a relationship.
If you are interested in a relationship, you can't start with sex.
People should decide what they are looking for. Each purpose has different goals and measures it's successes accordingly.
Men who are into Game aren't interested in relationships, they want notches in the headboard.
There is amisconception misunderstanding falsehood myth pushed by some feminists that the goal to female sexual empowerment is to have sex often and with numerous partners. This is supposed to be emotionally fulfilling AND fun. It doesn't work that way. Sex without the emotional connection to the other person is just masturbation. I'd argue that real sexual power comes from the discipline.
Is it about your orgasm? Or is it about sharing?
Every thing I have experienced, everything I have heard, everything I have read tells me that the best sex is a bonding behavior. The more you share before sex, the better the sex. And that is going to be my new #1 sex rule.
Sex can be a bonding behavior. Why fuck someone you don't really like? Do you know if you like them or not?
With that in mind, let's look at how modern Americans get sex.
If you are using sex for fun, you may have a couple of drinks to "loosen up." You may go home with someone you've only known for a couple of hours. And since you don't know them, it's going to be hit or miss. You don't know their non-verbal cues and they don't know yours. You don't know what they like to talk about. But that's not what you're looking for. You want the sex. You want the hormonal rush. You want the fun.
But if you start with a relationship first and add sex later to build that relationship, your emphasis is different. You already know things about the other person. You already share things with the other person. And you're won't depend on porn-star techniques to "cinch the deal."
The important thing is to know what you want. Many think they want fun when they want a relationship. Then they wonder why they wind up emotionally unconnected.
Sex can be a bonding behavior. But not if it's just sex.
Know yourself. Know what you want.
I've been researching. I've been talking and writing people. I've been trying to understand exactly how we got into this mess with sex where seemingly no one knows what is going on.
I think it's simpler, and then we try to make it complicated.
The two most common purposes of sex are fun (including the hormonal rush) and bonding. The problem comes when we confuse these purposes.
If you are using sex for fun, it's not going to be emotionally fulfilling. It won't be the basis of a relationship.
If you are interested in a relationship, you can't start with sex.
People should decide what they are looking for. Each purpose has different goals and measures it's successes accordingly.
Men who are into Game aren't interested in relationships, they want notches in the headboard.
There is a
Is it about your orgasm? Or is it about sharing?
Every thing I have experienced, everything I have heard, everything I have read tells me that the best sex is a bonding behavior. The more you share before sex, the better the sex. And that is going to be my new #1 sex rule.
Sex can be a bonding behavior. Why fuck someone you don't really like? Do you know if you like them or not?
With that in mind, let's look at how modern Americans get sex.
If you are using sex for fun, you may have a couple of drinks to "loosen up." You may go home with someone you've only known for a couple of hours. And since you don't know them, it's going to be hit or miss. You don't know their non-verbal cues and they don't know yours. You don't know what they like to talk about. But that's not what you're looking for. You want the sex. You want the hormonal rush. You want the fun.
But if you start with a relationship first and add sex later to build that relationship, your emphasis is different. You already know things about the other person. You already share things with the other person. And you're won't depend on porn-star techniques to "cinch the deal."
The important thing is to know what you want. Many think they want fun when they want a relationship. Then they wonder why they wind up emotionally unconnected.
Sex can be a bonding behavior. But not if it's just sex.
Know yourself. Know what you want.
NeoNotes — Man separate from Nature
Tuesday, 09Jan2018
“Treating depression in a Pagan context”
Sunday, 10Dec2017
Journal 19Nov2017
Sunday, 19Nov2017
Moore put a Decalogue monument in court. At night. With very few people knowing until the next day. Moore is on record as saying that man's law is under God's law. That is not something you want to hear a judge say, especially when you don't share his religion.
Read More...Called for veritas
Tuesday, 22Aug2017
“We’re not naked, we’re skyclad!”— Kelley Armstrong, Dime Store Magic
This last week in free speech
Saturday, 19Aug2017
“Unity in things Necessary, Liberty in things Unnecessary, and Charity in all.”— Richard Baxter
Absolutely maybe sort of - updated
Tuesday, 01Aug2017
Now, should I reject Bonewits and all he stood for because he and I didn't agree?
Read More...“As a pagan…”
Saturday, 29Jul2017
❝You know the problem with these massive conspiracy theories are that there are never enough conspirators and never enough victims.❞Read More...
Ego-trapped
Tuesday, 25Jul2017
“As a pagan, I've found that 99% of my practices and worshiping consists of just going outside, sitting still, shutting up, and listening.”Read More...
Magick everyday
Wednesday, 19Jul2017
❝I know that when you borrow from another culture you should honor those elements.❞
— NeoWayland
❝4 Rituals That Will Make You Loved❞
Monday, 17Jul2017
❝Make it better today. Keep polishing.❞
— NeoWayland, Quick notes to a new seeker
Marvel at the real Milky Way
Wednesday, 28Jun2017
Stewart Farrar * deceased birthday
Lived 28Jun1916 to 07Feb2000 (83)
Witch, author, novelist. May have encouraged the sexual initiation of minor girls.
Truth behind the curtain
Sunday, 18Jun2017
And that raises the first philosophical question. What exactly is that something beyond?
Read More...Home
Tuesday, 25Apr2017
“The first law of ecology is that everything is related to everything else.”— Barry Commoner, first law of ecology
Pagan anti-environmentalist
Monday, 24Apr2017
☿ Mercury retrograde ☯ waning crescent moon
Am I, NeoWayland, pagan philosopher and libertarian, an anti-environmentalist?Well, yes.
❝Environmentalism is a political movement. It’s about controlling other people to achieve utopia. It’s about closing yourself off from the possibilities.
I don’t want to be limited by the word “environmentalism” anymore. I don’t think ecology is about saving the Earth. I think it’s about understanding how things fit and the tradeoffs we make. It’s about looking at where we were, where we are, and where we could go.❞
Environmentalism is like any other crusade. It wants to change society for our own good even if we disagree with the cause.
I resist it just as I do the extra-enthusiastic Christians who want to enshrine their beliefs as the law of the land. And for PRECISELY the same reasons.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a draft to finish for tomorrow's article.
❝Love begins at home❞
Thursday, 20Apr2017
Clean
Sunday, 09Apr2017
It's the last bright moon before Summergate, the Lady Moon is entering the Court of Stars and I am ready.
For what I am not sure.
Read More...Nothing supernatural exists
Tuesday, 04Apr2017
“The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting.”— Mark Twain
❝Lose your own center…❞
Monday, 03Apr2017
❝If something changes the universe, it can be measured. If it can be measured, it can be analyzed. If it can be analyzed, experiments can be performed.❞Read More...
What does that have to do with greeting the sun?
Tuesday, 28Mar2017
I'm winter-born, so a good snow always touches my soul in a quiet joyful way. I could watch it for hours. I did watch it for hours.
Read More...Signs
Monday, 27Feb2017
❝Faith cannot be given. Faith cannot be taken. To mean anything at all, faith must be chosen freely.❞— NeoWayland
The Pagan Vigil Reader - updated
Tuesday, 15Nov2016
Neighborhood pagan
Wednesday, 19Oct2016
How we treat the Other may be the defining mark of a civilization. How we treat civilization may be the second defining mark of an individual.
"I. Was. Different." Some outgrow it. Others Want To Be Noticed. Still others DEMAND attention.
I never have understood why someone would wear ritual garb in public. It probably has something to do with crossover with the SCA, the RenFaire crowd, and cosplay. But these things don't have pockets. Where do you keep things like your keys, your wallet, and your smart phone? In my case, there are even fewer pockets in my ritual garb.
It's not that hard to "freak the mundanes." But does that mean that people will trust you? Can you trust them? And yes, there will be times you need to trust someone who doesn't share your beliefs.
Or your victimhood.
We should discuss that too. I've said before you should not draw power from victimhood. It draws on the pity of others and will probably fade the more you depend on it.
So if your paganism can't depend on how weird you are or how much a victim you are, what should it depend on?
How about your connection to Nature? Magick may be about changing the world, but paganism is about finding the place where you balance.
You start by being a good neighbor. Not just to the plants and the creatures and the four-foots around you, but to your fellow humans. Those humans are important.
Yes, really.
Humans are a part of the World. We're not separate.
And that means you should trust your neighbors. That they should trust you. You won't get that with a six inch pentagram and ritual garb. You won't get that with "mysterious" symbols painted on your house. You won't get that if you are too strange.
How we treat our culture may be the defining mark of an adult.
Are you ready?
"I. Was. Different." Some outgrow it. Others Want To Be Noticed. Still others DEMAND attention.
I never have understood why someone would wear ritual garb in public. It probably has something to do with crossover with the SCA, the RenFaire crowd, and cosplay. But these things don't have pockets. Where do you keep things like your keys, your wallet, and your smart phone? In my case, there are even fewer pockets in my ritual garb.
It's not that hard to "freak the mundanes." But does that mean that people will trust you? Can you trust them? And yes, there will be times you need to trust someone who doesn't share your beliefs.
Or your victimhood.
We should discuss that too. I've said before you should not draw power from victimhood. It draws on the pity of others and will probably fade the more you depend on it.
So if your paganism can't depend on how weird you are or how much a victim you are, what should it depend on?
How about your connection to Nature? Magick may be about changing the world, but paganism is about finding the place where you balance.
You start by being a good neighbor. Not just to the plants and the creatures and the four-foots around you, but to your fellow humans. Those humans are important.
Yes, really.
Humans are a part of the World. We're not separate.
And that means you should trust your neighbors. That they should trust you. You won't get that with a six inch pentagram and ritual garb. You won't get that with "mysterious" symbols painted on your house. You won't get that if you are too strange.
How we treat our culture may be the defining mark of an adult.
Are you ready?
Black & Blue
Wednesday, 05Oct2016
… taking a separate name shows dedication to your faith when you are initiated.
Read More...NeoNotes — Ravens today
Wednesday, 05Oct2016
❝Um, how big are your cats?
Ravens in Northern AZ can get very big. I've seen them face down large cats and even coyotes.
ETA: More information here. And What's the difference between a crow and a raven?❞
❝I'd change the law so I could legally pick up feathers that ravens shed.NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.
Ravens are amazing birds aren't they?
There's a lot of them in Northern Arizona, especially in the small towns and around the canyons. Visitors call them big crows but they are definitely ravens. It's not unusual to see feathers on the ground, although they disappear quickly. It is rare though, I hardly ever see it more than two or three times a year.
I tell you this merely as a point of information. I'm sure you're a law abiding citizen.
In the summer I sometimes share my breakfast with a local raven. The rest of the year (like today) I'll go outside around sunrise with a hot drink and something to nibble. That's usually for him.❞
Coding your mind
Tuesday, 28Jun2016
NeoNotes — What witch?
Tuesday, 21Jun2016
I don't think animals should be killed for ritual use. I have issues with animals being killed for food. It's why I still pray before meals. I'm honoring their sacrifice even though I know they don't understand.
Read More...Interconnections
Tuesday, 14Jun2016
Since I don't have much time this week, I thought talk about the daily things we sometimes overlook.
Read More...Daily
Friday, 03Jun2016
Since I don't have much time this week, I thought talk about the daily things we sometimes overlook.
Read More...Intuition & Inspiration
Tuesday, 03May2016
According to popular culture, magick is about breaking the rules and molding reality.
Nope.
Read More...Act of Change
Thursday, 24Mar2016
Sex advice
Wednesday, 23Mar2016
Hold her hands, gently, almost like a caress. Tell her how you feel about her. Tell her how you feel when you are with her. Do it again in thirteen minutes, precisely.
Read More...Faith Triad
Tuesday, 08Mar2016
No, it wasn’t responsible. No, I’m not proud of it. And yes, it lasted longer than it should have with me.
Read More...Manifest
Wednesday, 24Feb2016
It was a warm summer night and I was laying on my roof staring deep into the sky. One of the local cats was on the corner cleaning itself and hoping I would share some food.
Read More...Collecting pelts
Tuesday, 16Feb2016
Mom ended up with a broken clavicle, a punctured lung, massive bruising, and some confusion.
Read More...Accident
Thursday, 28Jan2016
I joke about it, but that is the heart of it. Or maybe the hearth. It’s the center.
Read More...Earth centered
Tuesday, 01Dec2015
You can see that politics corrupts pretty much any religion, faith, or path you’d care to name.
Read More...Bend the brains
Monday, 19Oct2015
❝I have on occasion wandered in where I was not wanted and gave truthful answers. Sometimes I even did it deliberately. A little disruption now to prevent disaster later.❞Read More...— NeoWayland
Naked pagans & sex - updated
Thursday, 15Oct2015
Lughnasadh
Friday, 31Jul2015
Hermit and the noise
Monday, 15Jun2015
Rules of Three
Tuesday, 31Mar2015
Bestest
Wednesday, 25Mar2015
Speaking of the way that one idea links to another, I can’t help but notice a conflict. And a song.
Read More...Keeping notes
Wednesday, 04Mar2015
“You have to believe in dreams, because sometimes they believe in you.”— Simon R. Green, Something From the Nightside
Sometimes you just have to make it work.
Tuesday, 11Nov2014
The Pope and his Pagan Christians
Sunday, 09Nov2014
Oops, your pendant fell
Monday, 20Oct2014
Practical thingamabobs
Friday, 15Oct2010
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C1325529963/E20091015080006
Cross posted at www.teknopagan.com/files/TPY-Thingamabobs091015.html
Pagan stuff you didn't think was Pagan.
Sometimes I think that Crow and Magpie split all the franchises on Pagan shops. There's all the bright shiny things. And the soft silky things. And the exotic strange things. And all the rest that hints at Mysterious Lore Only Revealed to the True Seeker. It's romantic, it's unusual, it's meant to catch our attention and our credit cards.
Today I want to tell you about some useful items that aren't necessarily "Pagan" but that I've found useful.
Once I volunteered to help run a Sunship Earth program. That's when I learned about "hard tools." Hard tool is another name for a Sierra cup, one of those massively useful implements that you'll soon wonder how you did without. Forget finding a "portable cauldron," a good Sierra cup is almost made to order for small scale spellcasting. Just make sure you get at least two, one for "working" and one for you to eat and drink from.
"Soft tools" are another legacy of my experience with Sunship Earth . It's another name for a bandanna. I buy them by the dozen in my favorite colors (I love sweatbands in turquoise) from Trader's International. I give a lot away because I do get unusual colors. Besides wiping up sweat and small spills, in a pinch a bandanna can cover a small unconsecrated work area. And it lets you protect the expensive cloths and weavings.
Many Pagan shop sites have mortar & pestle sets, especially if they sell herbs. I have three, one in laboratory ceramic for salts and minerals, one in marble for organics, and one in stainless steel for consumables. The one in stainless steel is food grade and lives in my kitchen away from the other two. If you haven't found a science supply place, try American Science & Surplus, their prices are great. There's Edmund Scientifics, known to generations of American junior high and high school science students and garage tinkerers, but their prices are higher.
A Leatherman, a Swiss army knife, or a good multitool is an absolute must. It's never the "perfect" tool, but it can substitute for many other tools to get the job done quickly. Some people bless theirs and use it an an athamé, I prefer to keep my ritual tools separate.
Muslin tea bags are incredibly useful for small charms and potpourri. I get mine from a tea speciality place in North Carolina.
Cotton and silk thread can be found almost anywhere that sells sewing supplies. The silk is more expensive, but certainly worth it for some spells. Whatever you do, avoid polyester. it doesn't hold a "zap" as well and it smells terrible when burned.
For more substantial needs, go for the satin cord. It's one of the few things I buy from Azure Green. While the cord also comes in 1 yard lengths, I find it's useful to keep a larger spool on hand, at least at home. It's also useful for amulets and pendents. I used to use leather cord for that, but human sweat is mildly salty and acidic. The combination eats the heck out of leather, especially if it's worn daily. I still keep my grandfather's key on leather, but these days the only thing I use leather cord for is wrapping handles on my staves. Leather and satin both hold a "zap" about equally I've found. I have a homemade tool from satin cord to quickly mark circles, from the end of each end loop it is six and a half feet. There are additional loops to mark one and a half, two and a half, three and a half, four and a half, and five feet.
Parachute cord is cheap and rivals duct tape for sheer usefulness. The best and strongest grade, 550 lb test, is only available in limited colors. You won't be swinging off any buildings with this stuff, but it's great for tying things securely, wrapping tool handles, and at least a hundred and eleven other things. Some people keep about fifteen feet or so woven into a bracelet so it's always handy. I've seen the more wild colors and patterns used as shoelaces and walking stick handles. I've had no luck in getting paracord to hold a "zap" for more than a few hours at best.
I use parchment paper and a little sealing wax for packets of herbs and incense I throw in the fire. I prefer to use parchment stationary cut to size and folded into a packet, but cooking parchment will work in a pinch (and is cheaper too). Commercial candle wax has additives and beeswax burns much too hot. Sealing wax has a lower melting temperature. Some people will tell you that you need a signet, but I've found a little spit and a thumbprint works just as well. Plus, you always know where your thumb is.
For someone who's been known to trip over the edge of sunlight and shadow, small glass bottles aren't always the best idea. Recently I've found these plastic test tubes. These actually are two liter soda bottle blanks before they are heated and vacuum molded to full size. Very durable and waterproof, the test tubes work for keeping supplies sorted as well as sample collecting. My mother wants to use them when she collects wildflower seeds. The neighborhood kids absconded with about 3/4's of my first shipment (I was in a good mood that day). And um, truth to tell, these are the closest practical equivalent I've found to the cylinder things on a certain famous utility belt.
Sometimes you need to poke something without touching it and without discharging the "zap." Wood toothpicks work, but if you really want to get the job done, try bamboo skewers. You can probably find them in your local grocery store
I don't smoke, but a lighter is extremely handy. Of course you can get a cheapo Bic from thousands of stores, but you might think about the classic Zippo. It won't blow out in wind, and it stays lit if you set it down. That's handy when you're sealing the end of your paracord, among other things.
Finally, don't overlook the simple pad of paper and a pencil. Very few things work better to sketch, write, and plan. I prefer graph paper myself, but that's me. Just get something where it's okay to make a mistake and scratch stuff out. Leave the fancy papers and the custom BOS for the final version, after you're tested it.
Today I want to tell you about some useful items that aren't necessarily "Pagan" but that I've found useful.
Once I volunteered to help run a Sunship Earth program. That's when I learned about "hard tools." Hard tool is another name for a Sierra cup, one of those massively useful implements that you'll soon wonder how you did without. Forget finding a "portable cauldron," a good Sierra cup is almost made to order for small scale spellcasting. Just make sure you get at least two, one for "working" and one for you to eat and drink from.
"Soft tools" are another legacy of my experience with Sunship Earth . It's another name for a bandanna. I buy them by the dozen in my favorite colors (I love sweatbands in turquoise) from Trader's International. I give a lot away because I do get unusual colors. Besides wiping up sweat and small spills, in a pinch a bandanna can cover a small unconsecrated work area. And it lets you protect the expensive cloths and weavings.
Many Pagan shop sites have mortar & pestle sets, especially if they sell herbs. I have three, one in laboratory ceramic for salts and minerals, one in marble for organics, and one in stainless steel for consumables. The one in stainless steel is food grade and lives in my kitchen away from the other two. If you haven't found a science supply place, try American Science & Surplus, their prices are great. There's Edmund Scientifics, known to generations of American junior high and high school science students and garage tinkerers, but their prices are higher.
A Leatherman, a Swiss army knife, or a good multitool is an absolute must. It's never the "perfect" tool, but it can substitute for many other tools to get the job done quickly. Some people bless theirs and use it an an athamé, I prefer to keep my ritual tools separate.
Muslin tea bags are incredibly useful for small charms and potpourri. I get mine from a tea speciality place in North Carolina.
Cotton and silk thread can be found almost anywhere that sells sewing supplies. The silk is more expensive, but certainly worth it for some spells. Whatever you do, avoid polyester. it doesn't hold a "zap" as well and it smells terrible when burned.
For more substantial needs, go for the satin cord. It's one of the few things I buy from Azure Green. While the cord also comes in 1 yard lengths, I find it's useful to keep a larger spool on hand, at least at home. It's also useful for amulets and pendents. I used to use leather cord for that, but human sweat is mildly salty and acidic. The combination eats the heck out of leather, especially if it's worn daily. I still keep my grandfather's key on leather, but these days the only thing I use leather cord for is wrapping handles on my staves. Leather and satin both hold a "zap" about equally I've found. I have a homemade tool from satin cord to quickly mark circles, from the end of each end loop it is six and a half feet. There are additional loops to mark one and a half, two and a half, three and a half, four and a half, and five feet.
Parachute cord is cheap and rivals duct tape for sheer usefulness. The best and strongest grade, 550 lb test, is only available in limited colors. You won't be swinging off any buildings with this stuff, but it's great for tying things securely, wrapping tool handles, and at least a hundred and eleven other things. Some people keep about fifteen feet or so woven into a bracelet so it's always handy. I've seen the more wild colors and patterns used as shoelaces and walking stick handles. I've had no luck in getting paracord to hold a "zap" for more than a few hours at best.
I use parchment paper and a little sealing wax for packets of herbs and incense I throw in the fire. I prefer to use parchment stationary cut to size and folded into a packet, but cooking parchment will work in a pinch (and is cheaper too). Commercial candle wax has additives and beeswax burns much too hot. Sealing wax has a lower melting temperature. Some people will tell you that you need a signet, but I've found a little spit and a thumbprint works just as well. Plus, you always know where your thumb is.
For someone who's been known to trip over the edge of sunlight and shadow, small glass bottles aren't always the best idea. Recently I've found these plastic test tubes. These actually are two liter soda bottle blanks before they are heated and vacuum molded to full size. Very durable and waterproof, the test tubes work for keeping supplies sorted as well as sample collecting. My mother wants to use them when she collects wildflower seeds. The neighborhood kids absconded with about 3/4's of my first shipment (I was in a good mood that day). And um, truth to tell, these are the closest practical equivalent I've found to the cylinder things on a certain famous utility belt.
Sometimes you need to poke something without touching it and without discharging the "zap." Wood toothpicks work, but if you really want to get the job done, try bamboo skewers. You can probably find them in your local grocery store
I don't smoke, but a lighter is extremely handy. Of course you can get a cheapo Bic from thousands of stores, but you might think about the classic Zippo. It won't blow out in wind, and it stays lit if you set it down. That's handy when you're sealing the end of your paracord, among other things.
Finally, don't overlook the simple pad of paper and a pencil. Very few things work better to sketch, write, and plan. I prefer graph paper myself, but that's me. Just get something where it's okay to make a mistake and scratch stuff out. Leave the fancy papers and the custom BOS for the final version, after you're tested it.
Measure that!
Tuesday, 28Sep2010
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C1325529963/E20100928130052
Cool way to measure tablespoons, teaspoons, and ounces.
One site I follow regularly is Cool Tools. I'd call it a must for a technopagan or someone with a tool obsession. Like me on both counts.
So last week I was reading about this Mini Measure Shot Glass. I wasn't driving into Flagstaff, but I knew someone who was and I asked her to pick me up two (one for the kitchen and one for the sanctum) . They cost all of $3.50 each in Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
This is one of the best commercial alternatives I've seen to measuring spoons. My hands aren't quite as steady as I would like them to be sometimes.
So last week I was reading about this Mini Measure Shot Glass. I wasn't driving into Flagstaff, but I knew someone who was and I asked her to pick me up two (one for the kitchen and one for the sanctum) . They cost all of $3.50 each in Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
This is one of the best commercial alternatives I've seen to measuring spoons. My hands aren't quite as steady as I would like them to be sometimes.
Are you paying attention?
Tuesday, 14Sep2010
On the Threefold Law of Return
Thursday, 19Aug2010
The roots of the Old Breed
Monday, 08Mar2010
Poking around and organizing
Sunday, 28Feb2010
Quick notes to a new seeker - Updated
Tuesday, 03Nov2009
What's the difference between a ponytail and a beartail?
Thursday, 01Oct2009
These older blog entries have been reformatted and entered into the current directories
Read More...So does my tool fetish
really qualify as a fetish?
really qualify as a fetish?
Thursday, 18Jun2009
Taking full measure
Tuesday, 26May2009
Wisdom and the Three Percent
Tuesday, 03Mar2009
Magick in the modern world
Thursday, 19Feb2009
❝When someone starts talking about THE truth, it's to exclude the thoughts and ideas they find uncomfortable.❞— NeoWayland, Quarter Moons and Semi-Truths
NeoNote — When the universe has it's way with you
Saturday, 10Jan2009
The right thingamajig for the job
Sunday, 04Jan2009
Elvis has left the building
Friday, 01Feb2008
Attention technopagans
Wednesday, 28Nov2007
These blog entries have been reformatted and entered into the current directories. Redirect pages have been placed in the old locations.
Read More...Looking for good causes
Thursday, 08Nov2007
“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.”
Absolutely mythical
Tuesday, 09Oct2007
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C1325529963/E20071009133622
Dualism and modern mythology
From some reason as I write this, I've got the tune to Robert Palmer's Simply Irresistible running through my head with new lyrics.
When it comes to modern Pagan philosophers, Isaac Bonewits was one of my earliest influences. His writings on the distortions created by dualistic assumptions were some of the best I had ever read. It was one of those "ton of brick" moments, I was struggling with my identity as a Pagan despite being raised Christian. And Bonewits is absolutely right.
Except when it comes to his own politics.
It's common. Those EITHER/OR blinders are a lot more widespread than we comfortably admit. Especially when it comes to ourselves.
My own blinders include prejudices against "fluffy bunnies" and until quite recently otherkin. Part of that was because I didn't make the effort to dig deeper, but mainly because the "noisiest" examples aren't necessarily the people you'd want around you. There are exceptions, but they are difficult to find.
I absolutely love Wren's Nest, I consider it one of the the best Pagan news sources around. But it doesn't take long before a commenter trots out the anti-Christian bit on almost any thread.
One of my hard won life lessons that I am willing to share is very simple. When you see two and only two alternatives, start looking for the third.
In most situations, either/or choices don't work.
A dualistic mind set is one of those REALLY BAD™ ideas.
It doesn't matter if it's Christian vs. Pagan, Democrat vs. Republican, or Freemasons vs. the Elks.
I made that last one up. And that is my point. The myths we choose to talk about and live are the memes that shape our lives, regardless of their "truth."
I want to talk about one of the best known myths of our time, and how it illustrates the Third Way that overcomes dualism. I'm talking about the Star Wars films.
Specifically, I want to concentrate on the differences between the pre-Empire Galactic Republic and the Galactic Empire on the large scale, and between Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker on the small scale.
From the original films, we know that the Galactic Empire is EVIL BAD in capital letters. They destroy entire planets. They make their stormtroopers wear dorky armor that doesn't seem to deflect much blaster fire. They squeeze the economies of their member planets. They send secret operatives to ferret out dissent.
From the prequel films, we know that the Republic are the good guys. They have a democratic tradition which prevents justice and can be manipulated behind the scenes. They make their cloned stormtroopers wear dorky armor that doesn't seem to prevent much blaster fire. They squeeze the economies of their member planets. And they send secret operatives to ferret out dissent.
The Empire has the Death Star, but the Republic is incapable of defending one of it's members from the advances of another. Is it evil to destroy life with the push of a button or with the procedural vote?
Be careful, that is one of those either/or choices I warned you about.
So let's look at how Anakin Skywalker fared under the Galactic Republic.
Time after time, he's told that he has to deny his passions, his connections to other people. It's not pure, it's not the Way of the Jedi. At first, he's even denied the Jedi training. The mighty Jedi Council sits on high, dispassionately evaluating everything and totally blind to the Sith.
The one Jedi Master who thinks outside the box well enough to help Anakin come to terms with his feelings is dead by the end of the first prequel film.
Despite promises of freedom and justice, Anakin's mother remains a slave and is killed without the protection of the Republic. Anakin's visions torment him with visions of his beloved dying in despair. The Jedi Council won't make him a Master, despite his obvious gifts and abilities.
To Anakin, the Republic betrayed him long before he took up the path of a Sith Lord.
Luke Skywalker fared even worse under the Galactic Empire. His guardians were killed by stormtroopers. He knew that Darth Vader had "killed" his father. He watched as Vader sliced his mentor in half. If anyone had a reason for revenge, it was Luke.
As Luke progressed in his training, his teachers stress that he must disassociate his feelings from his actions. Time after time, he is told that only a fully trained Jedi could hope to face Vader and the Emperor.
Yet there was an x-factor, something totally unexpected. Even before Luke knew Leia was his sister, there was a connection that grew only stronger the more time they spent together. Luke could feel how his sister felt about Han Solo, the charming rogue who only became a hero because his friends were in danger.
Anakin didn't have a Han Solo. Luke did.
That's why Luke knew his father could be redeemed. He had already seen Han redeemed.
I'd like to say that the clues were there. Red Flight became Rogue Flight. Han's military and practical experience showed up on Hoth and in the deference that the Rebels gave Han and Chewie. More than anything else, more than the pronouncements of Yoda or the promises of Ben Kenobi, Luke knew that he could count on Han to pull him out of a disaster.
"That's two you owe me, junior."
It was the connection to Leia that let Luke survive his first encounter with Vader. It was Han's willing sacrifice that let Leia, Chewie, Lando, and the droids escape.
Because, you see, even though the good guys won and the Emperor was destroyed, it wasn't done by the way of the Jedi.
It was a man who had mastered the way of the Jedi but chose a path of compassion.
Luke Skywalker looked for the third way beyond either/or. That's what let him win.
That's the real myth of Star Wars. Not good versus evil.
The Sith could only exist because the Jedi were incomplete. And the Sith were doomed because they were the flip side and just as incomplete.
The only lasting solution was to find another way not in the assumptions of either "side." And the man who made it possible wasn't a Jedi, but a good man who chose to be better out of friendship and love.
So how does this relate to us?
Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it is enough to know that there are usually more than two answers. Maybe it is enough to know that sometimes our expectations shape our answers more than any truth.
And maybe it is enough knowing that only two answers mirror each other.
When it comes to modern Pagan philosophers, Isaac Bonewits was one of my earliest influences. His writings on the distortions created by dualistic assumptions were some of the best I had ever read. It was one of those "ton of brick" moments, I was struggling with my identity as a Pagan despite being raised Christian. And Bonewits is absolutely right.
Except when it comes to his own politics.
It's common. Those EITHER/OR blinders are a lot more widespread than we comfortably admit. Especially when it comes to ourselves.
My own blinders include prejudices against "fluffy bunnies" and until quite recently otherkin. Part of that was because I didn't make the effort to dig deeper, but mainly because the "noisiest" examples aren't necessarily the people you'd want around you. There are exceptions, but they are difficult to find.
I absolutely love Wren's Nest, I consider it one of the the best Pagan news sources around. But it doesn't take long before a commenter trots out the anti-Christian bit on almost any thread.
One of my hard won life lessons that I am willing to share is very simple. When you see two and only two alternatives, start looking for the third.
In most situations, either/or choices don't work.
A dualistic mind set is one of those REALLY BAD™ ideas.
It doesn't matter if it's Christian vs. Pagan, Democrat vs. Republican, or Freemasons vs. the Elks.
I made that last one up. And that is my point. The myths we choose to talk about and live are the memes that shape our lives, regardless of their "truth."
I want to talk about one of the best known myths of our time, and how it illustrates the Third Way that overcomes dualism. I'm talking about the Star Wars films.
Specifically, I want to concentrate on the differences between the pre-Empire Galactic Republic and the Galactic Empire on the large scale, and between Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker on the small scale.
From the original films, we know that the Galactic Empire is EVIL BAD in capital letters. They destroy entire planets. They make their stormtroopers wear dorky armor that doesn't seem to deflect much blaster fire. They squeeze the economies of their member planets. They send secret operatives to ferret out dissent.
From the prequel films, we know that the Republic are the good guys. They have a democratic tradition which prevents justice and can be manipulated behind the scenes. They make their cloned stormtroopers wear dorky armor that doesn't seem to prevent much blaster fire. They squeeze the economies of their member planets. And they send secret operatives to ferret out dissent.
The Empire has the Death Star, but the Republic is incapable of defending one of it's members from the advances of another. Is it evil to destroy life with the push of a button or with the procedural vote?
Be careful, that is one of those either/or choices I warned you about.
So let's look at how Anakin Skywalker fared under the Galactic Republic.
Time after time, he's told that he has to deny his passions, his connections to other people. It's not pure, it's not the Way of the Jedi. At first, he's even denied the Jedi training. The mighty Jedi Council sits on high, dispassionately evaluating everything and totally blind to the Sith.
The one Jedi Master who thinks outside the box well enough to help Anakin come to terms with his feelings is dead by the end of the first prequel film.
Despite promises of freedom and justice, Anakin's mother remains a slave and is killed without the protection of the Republic. Anakin's visions torment him with visions of his beloved dying in despair. The Jedi Council won't make him a Master, despite his obvious gifts and abilities.
To Anakin, the Republic betrayed him long before he took up the path of a Sith Lord.
Luke Skywalker fared even worse under the Galactic Empire. His guardians were killed by stormtroopers. He knew that Darth Vader had "killed" his father. He watched as Vader sliced his mentor in half. If anyone had a reason for revenge, it was Luke.
As Luke progressed in his training, his teachers stress that he must disassociate his feelings from his actions. Time after time, he is told that only a fully trained Jedi could hope to face Vader and the Emperor.
Yet there was an x-factor, something totally unexpected. Even before Luke knew Leia was his sister, there was a connection that grew only stronger the more time they spent together. Luke could feel how his sister felt about Han Solo, the charming rogue who only became a hero because his friends were in danger.
Anakin didn't have a Han Solo. Luke did.
That's why Luke knew his father could be redeemed. He had already seen Han redeemed.
I'd like to say that the clues were there. Red Flight became Rogue Flight. Han's military and practical experience showed up on Hoth and in the deference that the Rebels gave Han and Chewie. More than anything else, more than the pronouncements of Yoda or the promises of Ben Kenobi, Luke knew that he could count on Han to pull him out of a disaster.
"That's two you owe me, junior."
It was the connection to Leia that let Luke survive his first encounter with Vader. It was Han's willing sacrifice that let Leia, Chewie, Lando, and the droids escape.
Because, you see, even though the good guys won and the Emperor was destroyed, it wasn't done by the way of the Jedi.
It was a man who had mastered the way of the Jedi but chose a path of compassion.
Luke Skywalker looked for the third way beyond either/or. That's what let him win.
That's the real myth of Star Wars. Not good versus evil.
The Sith could only exist because the Jedi were incomplete. And the Sith were doomed because they were the flip side and just as incomplete.
The only lasting solution was to find another way not in the assumptions of either "side." And the man who made it possible wasn't a Jedi, but a good man who chose to be better out of friendship and love.
So how does this relate to us?
Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it is enough to know that there are usually more than two answers. Maybe it is enough to know that sometimes our expectations shape our answers more than any truth.
And maybe it is enough knowing that only two answers mirror each other.
A new balance
Thursday, 14Jun2007
❝Evil spelled backwards is live. That's what I do.❞— NeoWayland, October - updated
Elite witchcraft
Thursday, 12Apr2007
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C1325529963/E20070412051550
Reconsidering the answer to an old post
The thing with Witch School reminded me of a comment from Juliaki on this post.
She asked "Why is elitism bad?"
I suppose it comes down to if the elitism is earned or bestowed.
When it comes to titles, Pagan titles in particular, they really don't tell me much.
"Vice President of Marketing." "Lady of the Inner Circle." "Teacher."
These titles tell nothing.
The virtue isn't in the title you see, the virtue is in the individual.
Titles draw their power from the virtue of the individual.
So what makes an elite?
The actions and choices of an individual.
We recognize elitism all the time. You go to your doctor because you trust him, not necessarily because of those initials behind his name. You call the plumber that you know will show up and fix the problem. You don't go to just any restaurant, you carefully choose.
If witchcraft were a profession, people would want to know about the individual reputation.
Not if a person was a witch or not.
If you had an English sports car, would you take it to just any mechanic? If you want a good quality towel, will you go the the closeout bin at the dollar store? If you need your taxes done, will you use your neighbor's sister's friend?
You may get exactly what you want from these places, but you have no way of knowing which will pay off and which will not. And there is no guarantee that it will pay off more than once.
Thinking about it, over the years we've assumed that there is some sort of egalitarianism in witchcraft and Pagan beliefs. There is not. Not all witches are equal. Not all Pagans are equal. Not all Pagans are witches.
Let's put in another word that is supposed to be a no-no.
Discrimination.
Discrimination is not necessarily evil.
I don't want my Baptist relatives telling me how to practice my faith. I don't necessarily want them telling me how to practice magick either, even though some of them do exactly that, all be it in rather limited circumstances. I'm discriminating because I don't think they know enough to tell me what I need to know.
People are not all equally gifted. Certainly Pagans aren't all equally gifted. Should each be given the same consideration?
All I have got to go on is the individual reputation. And once there is someone I can trust, I am more likely to pay attention to THEIR choices than I am someone I do not know.
So should witchcraft be elite?
Why should it be any different?
She asked "Why is elitism bad?"
I suppose it comes down to if the elitism is earned or bestowed.
When it comes to titles, Pagan titles in particular, they really don't tell me much.
"Vice President of Marketing." "Lady of the Inner Circle." "Teacher."
These titles tell nothing.
The virtue isn't in the title you see, the virtue is in the individual.
Titles draw their power from the virtue of the individual.
So what makes an elite?
The actions and choices of an individual.
We recognize elitism all the time. You go to your doctor because you trust him, not necessarily because of those initials behind his name. You call the plumber that you know will show up and fix the problem. You don't go to just any restaurant, you carefully choose.
If witchcraft were a profession, people would want to know about the individual reputation.
Not if a person was a witch or not.
If you had an English sports car, would you take it to just any mechanic? If you want a good quality towel, will you go the the closeout bin at the dollar store? If you need your taxes done, will you use your neighbor's sister's friend?
You may get exactly what you want from these places, but you have no way of knowing which will pay off and which will not. And there is no guarantee that it will pay off more than once.
Thinking about it, over the years we've assumed that there is some sort of egalitarianism in witchcraft and Pagan beliefs. There is not. Not all witches are equal. Not all Pagans are equal. Not all Pagans are witches.
Let's put in another word that is supposed to be a no-no.
Discrimination.
Discrimination is not necessarily evil.
I don't want my Baptist relatives telling me how to practice my faith. I don't necessarily want them telling me how to practice magick either, even though some of them do exactly that, all be it in rather limited circumstances. I'm discriminating because I don't think they know enough to tell me what I need to know.
People are not all equally gifted. Certainly Pagans aren't all equally gifted. Should each be given the same consideration?
All I have got to go on is the individual reputation. And once there is someone I can trust, I am more likely to pay attention to THEIR choices than I am someone I do not know.
So should witchcraft be elite?
Why should it be any different?
Knot truth
Tuesday, 03Apr2007
Invoking passion for failure or success?
Thursday, 15Mar2007
The NeoDen gets a new workroom
Thursday, 01Mar2007
❝Humanity is a colony organism. People cherish their passions. Competition breeds progress and encourages honesty. In the absence of understanding, triviality dominates. Seek paradox for truth. Resist dogma for growth. Beware anyone who offers an absolute.❞Read More...
— NeoWayland, On Humantics
Micro spell kit
Saturday, 24Feb2007
I got an email asking why I didn't include Pagan music. Long story short, I think we need to look for connections beyond things that are just "Pagan" or Pagan related. There is meaning and life all around us, we do not need to shut ourselves off from it just because it didn't come from an approved source.
Read More...Move through the anger
Sunday, 28Jan2007
Some songs work amazingly well as meditation aids, IF it's the right music and the right lyrics.
Read More...Why the internet may suppress thought
Saturday, 27Jan2007
Riding the Music Part II
Wednesday, 27Dec2006
Does the origin determine validity?
Wednesday, 13Dec2006
When things are messy, actions and answers aren't clear cut. That is when you need faith in yourself.
Read More...Fire
Tuesday, 28Nov2006
Here are some physical parts of a spell I improvised last night and used this morning. It's one of the better "booster" spells I've come up with in a while. It takes a bit of prep time and you need to greet the sun, but it works.
Read More...The most Pagan thing that happened to me this week was two and a half days of thunderstorms
Saturday, 07Oct2006
Assembly of NeoWayland
Sunday, 17Sep2006
Blessings and ethics
Tuesday, 08Aug2006
The Focusing Flame
Saturday, 22Jul2006
Harvestpoint differs from Lughnasadh, but that is a good place to begin your studies. Read More...
Eclecticism, Discipline, & Mastery
Tuesday, 04Jul2006
“At the end of the day, some things can't be faked.”— Leverage, “The Corkscrew Job”
Simple pleasures
Wednesday, 28Jun2006
Scrying with the Dark Moon
Tuesday, 27Jun2006
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C1325529963/E20060627034440
One of my (suitably edited) Dark Moon rites
The Dark Moon is one of my favorite times for reflection.
I'm not particularly gifted in augury, but some methods work to find a meditation focus or settling exercise.
When I can, usually two or three times a year, I like to do a more formal ritual.
I know that the tools aren't strictly necessary, but I find it reassuring to use them when I can.
I start at twilight, when the sun has slipped below the horizon and there is a deep violet at the edge of the horizon. That is when I start cleaning the ritual space. Can't use a circle in this one.
By the time full dark has set in, I am ready. I have a small candle on a small stand at about eye level at about chest height.
My scrying bowl is black with a slightly reflective interior. It sits beside me at first. I put the dry ingredients in a mortar, moon blessed sea salt, cinnamon, a few other things. I grind it into a very small powder. Not much. When the dry has been thoroughly crushed, I put the mortar and pestle down and take up the scyring bowl. Very carefully I hold it up to the stars, letting their light fill it. Then I close my eyes and pour the light into my face.
Very carefully I take a small amount of oil on my finger and draw a quick sign in the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkle the dry ingredients over the sign. Then I breathe on the sign.
Then I light the candle.
Holding the bowl in my lap, I very slowly add water. I crouch over it and look through the candle reflection in the water.
Of course, this description is incomplete. But you can see where it is going.
I'm not particularly gifted in augury, but some methods work to find a meditation focus or settling exercise.
When I can, usually two or three times a year, I like to do a more formal ritual.
I know that the tools aren't strictly necessary, but I find it reassuring to use them when I can.
I start at twilight, when the sun has slipped below the horizon and there is a deep violet at the edge of the horizon. That is when I start cleaning the ritual space. Can't use a circle in this one.
By the time full dark has set in, I am ready. I have a small candle on a small stand at about eye level at about chest height.
My scrying bowl is black with a slightly reflective interior. It sits beside me at first. I put the dry ingredients in a mortar, moon blessed sea salt, cinnamon, a few other things. I grind it into a very small powder. Not much. When the dry has been thoroughly crushed, I put the mortar and pestle down and take up the scyring bowl. Very carefully I hold it up to the stars, letting their light fill it. Then I close my eyes and pour the light into my face.
Very carefully I take a small amount of oil on my finger and draw a quick sign in the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkle the dry ingredients over the sign. Then I breathe on the sign.
Then I light the candle.
Holding the bowl in my lap, I very slowly add water. I crouch over it and look through the candle reflection in the water.
Of course, this description is incomplete. But you can see where it is going.
Mistress Moon
Thursday, 13Apr2006
Horizons
Thursday, 30Mar2006
“ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX IV: I mean what exactly are you doing with your life?Read More...
ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX: I'm being attacked by a Vogon Fleet.
ZB IV: Doesn't surprise me in the least.”—The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy radio series, Fit the Ninth
Wheel
Wednesday, 18Jan2006
My response to a question about being skyclad. Taken from Wicca: General Chat from the Timerift Forums
Read More...Self-initiation
Thursday, 22Dec2005
The next step depends on the focus of your faith and your choices. It's not enough to be just Pagan.
Read More...Belonging
Thursday, 08Dec2005
Otherkin
Tuesday, 06Dec2005
“I'm being attacked!”
Monday, 21Nov2005
I'm going to watch this one a bit before adding it to the blogroll, but I do agree with the idea.
Read More...NeoNote — Skyclad
Friday, 14Oct2005
"all of that sunshine,
all of that sweet golden sunshine,
that thrills me and fills me and…"
Craft Check
Friday, 14Oct2005
Practicals
Tuesday, 04Oct2005
This is a page from the third version of Technopagan Yearnings. There are some formatting differences. Originally published at www.neowayland.com/C429302356/E1526042797
Non magickal and non religious tips to make your paganism work better
I've created a new category called Practicals.
Basically it is all the stuff that makes paganism work better without being specific to any one tradition or working.
I've moved my Harassment article there and I will make a couple of more entries tonight.
Basically it is all the stuff that makes paganism work better without being specific to any one tradition or working.
I've moved my Harassment article there and I will make a couple of more entries tonight.
Harassment: Avoidance & Confrontation
Monday, 03Oct2005
What's in a word?
Monday, 12Sep2005
“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces up, snow is exhilarating; there is no such thing as bad weather just different kinds of good weather.”
Study notes
Monday, 05Sep2005
“Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.”
The Word is Not the Thing
Thursday, 04Aug2005
Some thoughts from my
WebTree tradition path - updated
WebTree tradition path - updated
Sunday, 31Jul2005
A narrow slice of life, but now and again pondering American neopaganism, modern adult pagans & the World.
A narrow slice of life, but now and again pondering American neopaganism, modern adult pagans & the World.
Pagan philosopher, libertarian, and part-time trouble maker, NeoWayland keeps truths alive despite a wash of nonsense. But don't be surprised when he's doing the “nekkid pagan guy” thing.
There are pagan news & opinion sites. Technopagan Yearnings is not one. It’s more like a digital binder with interesting pagan stuff. And nudity. Don’t forget the nudity.
Since Wren Walker retired the Wren’s Nest of The Witches’ Voice, there is not really a pagan news site anymore.
The Pagan Vigil Reader is a pagan news aggregator.
You won’t find porn or erotica here. I do discuss nudity & sex, but I do not describe sexual events. As a naturist I admire the human body so you will find nudes here. You will not find photos of sex. There is some art showing sex and orgasms in a ritual or mythical context.
Updated weekdays when possible, otherwise irregularly as circumstances permit and the mood strikes.
This is the fourth major version of Technopagan Yearnings. I still have № 3 on file with it’s comments. I’ll convert that bit by bit as I get the chance. This version uses
RealMac’s RapidWeaver instead of Lifli’s iBlog.
Monday
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