Journal - Friday, 23Nov2018
I got into a long online discussion concerning the assumptions that people bring from their religion into their lives and what they expect of others. In passing, I mentioned some of the differences between a Story and a Journey.
It dawned on me that right now the "pagan community" has a lot of people who want to write the story for others instead of setting them off on their own journey. I'm going to have to think about that some.
Journal - Friday, 09Nov2018
Anything in the Gallery or albums has to have grabbed my attention. That usually means it has to be unusual.
Read More...Journal - Friday, 02Nov2018
Journal - Friday, 26Oct2018
Mom isn't doing so well. She forgets things. She's having a harder time moving around. We'll see.
One of my biggest frustrations is sex. One companion passed and the other moved. I try to avoid casual sex these days and I don't do the pickup scene at all. The younger women aren't interested in an older guy, especially the kind that makes them think. The older available ladies, well, many are into the victimhood thing. Some of the others want a bad boy. When they find out I am pagan, they think danger and blood and risk. Usually that's not me. I used to have sex six or seven times a week and now it's once or twice on a good week. I'm horny in an age of #MeToo and regret equalling rape accusations. I'm not sure how to fix that.
Truth is winning in a small way. I've been finding people that I agree with online. Of course it will never be a massive or even an impressive number, but there's hope for Isaiah's Job yet. I serve veritas, that has it's own rewards. Widespread recognition for my, um, obvious insights and grand wisdom is not one of them. I'm pretty good, but it won't bring fame and money. Still, it's nice to stumble across some like minded folk here and there. Wisdom is where you find it.
It dawned on me that I can save time by copy-pasting the source code from the quotes & thinkums blog entries in my comments. I'll have to eliminate the <div class="offset"> and the following </div>, but the rest shows up in Disqus just fine. Not with all the bells and whistles, true, but with enough to show it's a blockquote. I sill may have to toss in some <em> and </em>, but it works.
Time for a shower. Then I'll greet the sunrise while sharing breakfast with my raven friend. Then over to check on Mom.
Journal - Friday, October 12, 2018
This week I'm really proud of two things. I came up with a definition of "wise" that is practical and better than anything I found in online dictionaries.
And I managed to separate sexuality from politics. I've been trying to do that for years, decades. Our culture took something that is about sharing and coming together and shoved it into tribalism. The labels aren't important unless you're trying to make fun political.
So I had to come up with something that described sexuality without tribalism.
❝Unless it's with me, who you have sex with, how you have sex, and how many times you have sex is frankly none of my business. Likewise, unless it is sex with me, I'm not responsible for the consequences.❞That was the beginning, and now I've got a definition I can point at. If you haven't already, take a look at my lexicon sex index.
I don't know how we made sex about politics. But from now on I'm going to do my damnedest to make it responsibly fun and only fun.
Paraphrasing from The Ethical Slut and my lexicon definition, “Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”
I think it's a mistake to suppress our biology in the name of politics.
I'm going to look at pretty girls and women. I'll flirt unless it makes them uncomfortable. If the lady is unpledged and willing, I may fuck her if I can.
And yes, some clothing sexualizes and objectifies women. It's also something that they choose to wear. Which means they are flirting too. They want to be looked at.
I'm going to enjoy sex. I'm going to talk about sex ethically. Sex is a gift from the Divine and I am going to treat it that way.
Politics doesn't belong in sex.
The Red Book - First Impressions
“Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.”
Journal 15May2018
I've had three deaths in the past month. One a friend, one an uncle, and one person who I did not get along with.
I really don't think these "poor little me" bits are healthy, but my blogging took a hit and I wanted people to know why. Since my companion passed last fall, I'm not dealing well with people I know passing.
The friend wasn't a close friend, just someone I had known for a long time.
My uncle was my mother's older brother. You know that old story about the oldest son being allowed to get away with anything because he was the older son? That was my uncle. He was the troublemaker. Still, he did things mostly right. He gave the world two sons and laid the groundwork for many grandchildren. He was a party guy, but he'd bend over backwards and jump for family and his friends. This was the guy who'd take you fishing and hunting and then help you bury bodies.
And then there was the other person. We kept bumping into each other over the years. There were a few epic arguments. I can't blame it all on her. She did win in the end though. She left special instructions that I be invited to the funeral. What was I supposed to do with that? Say no? Tell her family that I couldn't be bothered?
People passing makes me think of mortality. I'm my mother's caregiver and I worry about her. But I worry about me too. I can't hike and walk like I used to, my feet don't like me and I don't like them. I can hear my joints rubbing against each other, especially in my neck. My handwriting has gotten worse. There are days it hurts too much to type. I spend more time than I should coughing up phlegm. I don't sleep particularly well and that makes me even more paranoid. I'm getting older and I don't think it will end well. My family is long lived but I'm not sure.
These toxic politics have made things worse. I see pagans more interested in making their mark than in nurturing the Earth. I see devotion to the gods replaced by tribal identity. I see the endless oneupmanship and "gotcha" attacks. I see us concentrating on our differences rather than what we share. And I think I have been too big a part of that.
The sun still rose this morning. It was particularly gorgeous, but I only noticed after I took the trash out. I stopped to think then, I had not greeted the sun in more than a month. Thoughts of death pushed thoughts of dawn out of my head. Only happenstance made me notice. That's not who I want to be. That's not what I want to share.
I still have time. I do not know how much. But some.
Journal 23Mar2018
I try to give Christians the benefit of the doubt, mainly because I expect the same. Some make it harder than others. Live and let live works mostly.
For space reasons, this entry has it's own page.
Read More...Journal 23Feb2018
I saw a horse "broke" once. It was time consuming. It was brutal. That was enough to convince me it was wrong.
Read More...Journal 02Feb2018
Journal 26Jan2018
Journal 19Jan2018
Journal 12Jan2018
I don't approve of older men having sex with young teens, but it has been happening from the beginning.
Read More...Sandwiches
“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”
Journal 08Dec2017
When someone starts talking about THE truth, it's to exclude the thoughts and ideas they find uncomfortable.
Read More...Journal 01Dec2017
These older blog entries have been reformatted and entered into the current directories
Read More...Journal 23Nov2017
Journal 25Aug2017
≠ ✰ pagan festival season ☿ Mercury retrograde 🌙 waxing crescent moon
>This site never had that many visitors, I never planned for that. Even though I think some of my stuff is pretty good, I held back from putting it out on display. I had a couple of bad years and I stopped blogging. These days my regular readers don't comment very much.
I'm a solitary, Most of my celebrations and rituals are done alone. It's not that I want to, it's just that my established group experience hasn't been very positive. One thing this means is that if my gods aren't chiming in, the only voice I'm hearing is mine. This isn't good. We need our ideas tested by those we trust but may not agree with. So if I want to grow, I have to share what I've learned. Since I work mostly with words and spell-forms in those words, I can't take something to the festival and spread it out.
But I forget. Not everyone has the same tools in their mental toolbox that I do. Sometimes the tools are called different names. Sometimes the toolbox is organized differently. And because I'm used to the things I do and the way I do things, I don't always notice when the tools are worn out and don't quite do the job I expect. I make excuses, I put off trying something new.
Lately when my articles have been good enough, I've experimented with posting links at reddit. The response has been a little mixed.
Part of the problem is my old friend, the symbol mismatch. What I see as practicing paganism today isn't necessarily what the rest of the World sees as paganism. I'm talking about gardening, I'm talking about nudging people just a little more towards truth. I'm talking about greeting the sun with nothing but a pendent. Or taking a quiet moon bath in my backyard. It's not fantastic, it's not romantic, it's not mysterious. It's not highly visible. It's not special. It's not meeting at a festival with like-minded people dressed up in costumes ritual garb. It's just me. It's also going to be Tuesday's article.
My in-town companion still isn't doing well. I've been trying to convince her to go to the hospital. I've been checking on her when I can, but she thinks I'm around too much. Helicopter hovering was how I think she put it.
The garden is still giving stuff. Tomatoes, delicious.
Mom is about the same, although she's resenting the control I have over her life. That's a good thing, but very frustrating for the both of us. She turned 75 this month. It's hard to see her moving with a walker, but at least she's moving. And she still has her compassion and her sense of humor. One day after she has passed, I am going to tell her story.
If anything I'm seeing more politics in paganism now. And it's not even clean politics, if there is such a thing. This is people who have been whipped up to a frenzy and told that if they kill the scapegoat, their deepest heart's desire will be granted for by the Forces of History. Pah.
So I think I need to do something special come Redmark. I need to think about that.
Well, there's a tunafish sandwich that does not yet exist, but is still calling my name.
Labels
❝We define the labels, the labels should not define us.❞
— from the private journal of NeoWayland, 07Nov2012
Virtue
“I am the roar of the ocean. I am a powerful ox. I am a hawk on a cliff. I am a salmon in pools. I am a lake in a plain.”— from the Song of Amergin
Beware
❝You should beware the politician who wraps himself in faith and the minister who wraps himself with the flag.❞
— from the private journal of NeoWayland, 01Mar2002
Journal 21Jul2017
≠ ✰ pagan festival season AZ monsoon season ☯ waning crescent moon
I had a bit of a scare this week. My blogging program developed a bit of glitch for a while. The idea of having to rebuild five websites and all the connections did not thrill me. This is the fourth major version of the site and it has been tweaked and tweaked again.
When I first started Technopagan Yearnings, I was coding things by hand and I loved arranging HTML modularly. I started using Lifli’s iBlog when I gave TPY and Pagan Vigil their own domains. Since then, Lifli went out of business and I started using RealMac RapidWeaver. I've upgraded from version 5 to version 6 and apparently I should have upgraded to 7.
Things change. As something suitable for the ages, the websites work as they are. As something that I can update and tweak, I need programs to manage. Using something dynamically is different from an unchanging text set in stone. Things change. A good lesson, but I wasn't ready to hear it at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night after a day of frustration trying to fix the program. I had just gotten my new rhythm in blogging. I didn't want to spend months reconstructing the sites.
I managed a quick trip to Gallup on Wednesday. If you've never been, Gallup is sometimes called the "Heart of Indian Country." There's a lot to see and do there. I was meeting a friend that I hadn't seen in years. He had made a small necklace with red coral. I'm giving it to my companion tomorrow. The red will look excellent on her skin tone.
Speaking of changes, for the first time since the new cable company came to town, I've no cable TV signal and no internet. So as I type this I can't preview and I've no idea when I will be able to post. Hopefully today.
One of my issues with this site and P•V has been providing enough content. That's why I've scaled back the original content and moved this site more to "a slice of life." P•V is now mostly headlines and news clippings. I can't give daily original articles, not and maintain some kind of sanity. Paganism on the web is getting more and more wrapped up with politics and the Great Anti-Trump Crusade. I'm seeing first hand just how poisonous and destructive that is. Not that I support Trump, but removing a legally elected president for no credible reason. This obsession isn't healthy, and it's making some of my pagan friends unravel.
My garden is producing well. Like I've said before, they aren't really your vegetables until you give them away.
Mom is still getting along. She and I are having our disagreements. The other day when I checked on her, we got into discussion on if she should leave things on the stove cooking while she is in the other room. She has ruined one skillet. Bless her heart, when she doesn't see something, she's more likely to forget about it. I want her to be independent for as long as she can, but there are some things I don't think will ever really come back.
Well how about that. I just put in the tag for "Mom" and I thought I would double check the other entries because it came up "mom" instead of "Mom." It seems I use the word "moment" a lot. I didn't realize how much I did.
I suppose I should go do a fast pass through the kitchen and load the dishwasher. Then maybe some breakfast. Then a shower and shave. And then maybe I'll have internet.
Journal 14Jul2017
From the hairstyle of the brunette lady on the right, I'm guessing that it happened in the late 1960s.
Read More...Journal 07Jul2017
Journal 30Jun2017
≠ ✰ pagan festival season AZ monsoon season 🌛 waxing half moon
I spent some time this week with the man that handles Mom's yard work. That's no easy thing. Mom hasn't been able to work in the yard since the accident, but her yard is still amazing. There's no doubt this lady is the daughter of the Gardner, even if she doesn't grown vegetables.Way back when the folks first bought their house, there were fruit trees. What Mom didn't know at the time is that you have to spray fruit trees several times a year to keep them from getting infested. So we had a few glorious months with apples plucked fresh from the tree. And then they got wormy.
Ah well. Mom's yard now is just full of flowerbeds and it feeds her soul.
Mine is much more utilitarian. I don't have her gift with flowers.
Yesterday I made time for the full greet the sun ritual. I'm sure my grandfather wouldn't approved of me doing the nekkid pagan guy thing facing the sunrise, but he is the one who taught me about summer sunrises.
I'm typing this on my patio and one of my neighbor's pigeons is giving me the eye. He thinks I owe him food. He's not one of my raven friends, he doesn't get any.
I think I need some breakfast.
Journal 23Jun2017
Journal 05May2017
Journal 28Apr2017
Journal 21Apr2017
☿ Mercury retrograde ☯ waning crescent moon breezy early morning
I've got my tree-planting spot picked out for next Friday. It's a good one this year and less than half a day's drive.It's pretty obvious that sex has been on my mind this week. Part of it is me missing my companion who moved (yes, even though the other one is still here), but a bigger part of it is dealing with the fallout from the Klein verdict. It happens every time there's a sex scandal with pagans. I didn't plan to become a pagan sex advisor on ethics, but looking at my writings on sex, that's exactly what I have become.
I wonder if I could take the trade out in actual sex.
It looks like I'm going to be looking closely at the "in your face" paganism again. I'm not exactly comfortable with that, but I suspect that Someone has nudged again. We'll see how it works out.
Speaking of companions, my local one called me early Thursday morning laughing. "He has your mustache!" She was talking about Adam The Woo, a video blogger we sometimes enjoy with a morning cuddle. He got a haircut.
A very nice lady asked me about the "slice of life" thing again. This blog is more personal than anything else. Yes, I talk about the pagan stuff, but that is only part of who I am. That came up in an online converstation the other day too.
❝I’m not the pagan guy who lives down the lane, I’m a man who happens to be pagan. Also libertarian, straight, a bit of a mutt, and a passionate bibliophile. Those things are aspects of me, but they don’t define the face I show the World. Mostly those things don’t come into play unless someone demands their beliefs trump mine.❞
I didn't talk about masks. Maybe I should have. Sometimes it's still hard for me to know when to filter, espeically when I am not looking at their face.
Today I mail out the invites to my Welcome to Summer feast. It's looking like shish-kabobs this year. And of course the highlight is my bi-annual Hair of the Bear.
Wednesday I was checking on Mom and we got to talking about my malichite bear. She's the one who gave it to me although she doesn't understand what my pendants mean to me. I know she doesn't understand what my relationship with Bear, Coyote & Raven, but she knows I like bears and bear art.
Speaking of Coyote, my current bathroom book is Coyote America: A Natural and Supernatural History by Dan Flores and I am really enjoying it.
Journal 10Apr2017
❝We pretty much agreed that women sometimes lie about rape and the code needed to take that into account. We added one small paragraph that said accusations of rape didn't necessarily mean rape.❞Read More...
Journal 07Apr2017
❝Freedom of religion does not mean deferring to Christianity.❞— NeoWayland
Journal 31Mar2017
“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.”— Frank Lloyd Wright
Journal 18Nov2016
“Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold — all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.”— Doreen Valiente, Charge of the Goddess
