It's been a while since I've done a journal entry,

This week I'm really proud of two things. I came up with a definition of "wise" that is practical and better than anything I found in online dictionaries.

And I managed to separate sexuality from politics. I've been trying to do that for years, decades. Our culture took something that is about sharing and coming together and shoved it into tribalism. The labels aren't important unless you're trying to make fun political.

So I had to come up with something that described sexuality without tribalism.

❝Unless it's with me, who you have sex with, how you have sex, and how many times you have sex is frankly none of my business. Likewise, unless it is sex with me, I'm not responsible for the consequences.❞

That was the beginning, and now I've got a definition I can point at. If you haven't already, take a look at my lexicon sex index.

I don't know how we made sex about politics. But from now on I'm going to do my damnedest to make it responsibly fun and only fun.

Paraphrasing from The Ethical Slut and my lexicon definition, “Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”

I think it's a mistake to suppress our biology in the name of politics.

I'm going to look at pretty girls and women. I'll flirt unless it makes them uncomfortable. If the lady is unpledged and willing, I may fuck her if I can.

And yes, some clothing sexualizes and objectifies women. It's also something that they choose to wear. Which means they are flirting too. They want to be looked at.

I'm going to enjoy sex. I'm going to talk about sex ethically. Sex is a gift from the Divine and I am going to treat it that way.

Politics doesn't belong in sex.

Like most American males born in the last half of the 20th Century, I was raised to be uncomfortable around homosexuality or anything that might imply homoeroticism. The thought of any man admiring the male form was Unacceptable. The thought of any man aroused and erect in the presence of other men was Taboo, except maybe for mutual masturbation sessions. And even then, only if it were Real Men™ leering at sexy women.

I got over some of that as an adult, and more as a pagan. Sometimes there is still a touch of shame, my upbringing left me that. I don't think sexuality is “carved in stone,” but I'm not willing to experiment right now either. Men check each other out, there's no doubt. We just don't admit that. Most of us can't help wondering sometimes what it would be like to be better endowed. Run an image search for pagan god phallus and see what you get. It's not an accident that gay males are over depicted in pagan art.

I ran across this one in another web search, probably for pagan phallus or some such thing. Men may not like to admit it, but we are fascinated by other guy's packages. Especially when our own brings such pleasure. This Forest God is definitely a Man's Man, and it brings thoughts of Iron John and a man's place in the world. I don't want to have sex with a man who has a member like that, but a part of me wonders what it would be like if that thing were mine.