This has been the year of politics. Even more, it's been the year of Pagan politics, with Doomsayers announcing that the Current Administration is a threat to paganism, women, children, world peace, climate, and the price of organic rice.

Codswallop.

Years ago I chose to separate my politics from my paganism. Lately I've been trying to separate sex around me from politics. We know that politics corrupts. I've no desire to see my faith enslaved to the cause of the day. And I really don't want to give control of my sex drive to the activists. It's not a circus where we all go home safe and sound afterwards.

It's not a fantasy epic. As John Halstead pointed out, fantasy epics are adolescent. Not even thinking, it's desire unleashed. We're not the Ones Chosen By Destiny to Triumph Over Overwelming Evil.

"Me, ME, ME, ME!"

Any blood paid wouldn't be theirs.

We're people, not legends.

The real world, the mundane world, the everyday World isn't like that. Real heroes make a stand, knowing that the price may be more than they can pay. But these poseurs? These wanna-be Big Name Pagans? These shallow sorta victim types? What's heroic about that? It's wish fulfillment. They will never be satisfied. They never see beyond the next moment of What Could Be, if everything goes the way they want. If nothing goes wrong…

Real change in the real world costs blood, sweat, and tears. It means thinking about tomorrow and the week after that. It means accepting the consequences for your actions. It means knowing that big changes start with small changes, not grand gestures. It means something beyond the fantasy.

Let's say there were these hot, uninhibited, possibly bisexual and very well developed 15 year old twins that lived over on the next block. Now there's a part of me that would look at them and think "me FUCK now!!!".

But that isn't an adult thing to do. Leaving aside the social consequences of boinking two underage girls, just what is going to happen next? What do we talk about between sessions? Do I feed them in the morning? Who cooks? If they mess up the bathroom, do I take time away from screwing to clean it up? Would they want to fuck me? Or is it only about my desire? What happens next week? Would I want them back? Would they want me back? When does this little fantasy stop being about me? When does this become something we share and can build on? Beyond the moment, is there something more?

How does it make the World better?

So when I read about the very public hexing of a Supreme Court justice, I see some very adolescent behavior. It's not that the hex couldn't be effective (although not the way it was set up). I just have to wonder what is the point? All those people doing the hexing weren't wronged. But they were making a very public statement that they AS PAGANS WE ARE NOT GOING TO STAND FOR IT.

Maybe they should try sitting.

And maybe listening.

Is there something they can share? Or is it only about their desire?

We know what they want. They want a Grand Crusade Against Injustice. They want to make a difference in the World and be acknowledged for the good that did. With no risk to themselves and no consequences for their choices. They are Pagan. They are Proud. They are Morally Superior. They want you to know that. They are Those Who Want to Be Noticed, who MUST be celebrated for the stand they took against the fuddy-duddy crowds that said no. But what is pagan about it?

While all this serves the ego, what does it have to do with the sunrise?

How does it make the World better?

This isn't the change we should be making. This is selfish. This is about as far away from the natural World as we can get. It's not about harmony and understanding, it's about threats and demands against our fellow humans. It's about cultivating resentment. It's about driving barriers between us. It's about destruction for the sake of destruction.

How does it make the World better?

It doesn't.

Don't be a great Pagan. Just be a great human.

Be the best human you can be. Leave the World a little better than how you found it. Find something good you can share.

This is both my Tuesday entry and a journal entry.

I've had three deaths in the past month. One a friend, one an uncle, and one person who I did not get along with.

I really don't think these "poor little me" bits are healthy, but my blogging took a hit and I wanted people to know why. Since my companion passed last fall, I'm not dealing well with people I know passing.

The friend wasn't a close friend, just someone I had known for a long time.

My uncle was my mother's older brother. You know that old story about the oldest son being allowed to get away with anything because he was the older son? That was my uncle. He was the troublemaker. Still, he did things mostly right. He gave the world two sons and laid the groundwork for many grandchildren. He was a party guy, but he'd bend over backwards and jump for family and his friends. This was the guy who'd take you fishing and hunting and then help you bury bodies.

And then there was the other person. We kept bumping into each other over the years. There were a few epic arguments. I can't blame it all on her. She did win in the end though. She left special instructions that I be invited to the funeral. What was I supposed to do with that? Say no? Tell her family that I couldn't be bothered?

People passing makes me think of mortality. I'm my mother's caregiver and I worry about her. But I worry about me too. I can't hike and walk like I used to, my feet don't like me and I don't like them. I can hear my joints rubbing against each other, especially in my neck. My handwriting has gotten worse. There are days it hurts too much to type. I spend more time than I should coughing up phlegm. I don't sleep particularly well and that makes me even more paranoid. I'm getting older and I don't think it will end well. My family is long lived but I'm not sure.

These toxic politics have made things worse. I see pagans more interested in making their mark than in nurturing the Earth. I see devotion to the gods replaced by tribal identity. I see the endless oneupmanship and "gotcha" attacks. I see us concentrating on our differences rather than what we share. And I think I have been too big a part of that.

The sun still rose this morning. It was particularly gorgeous, but I only noticed after I took the trash out. I stopped to think then, I had not greeted the sun in more than a month. Thoughts of death pushed thoughts of dawn out of my head. Only happenstance made me notice. That's not who I want to be. That's not what I want to share.

I still have time. I do not know how much. But some.

Sometimes I shouldn't be allowed in my quote file.

In this context, I meant that the magick should be sent back into the world as soon as possible.

Notice I did not say a thing about the lore…