Regular readers know that I've tried to be honest when it comes to sex.

Some Wiccans stress the polarity between sex and death as part of their worship. I've never seen the need to emphasize death. Acknowledge death, yes, that makes sense. But unless you believe in some sort of afterlife that can be accessed from This Side, worshipping death just never seemed to fit.

Sex is a different matter.

I enjoy sex with friends if they are willing. My most important sex rule is The Lady Always Chooses. You see, it's the seduction that appeals to me. Why rely on force when friendship is more challenging and more rewarding?

If someone relies on force and threats for something whose triggers are hard-wired into our very biology, that doesn't say much about their character. Or their ability to pleasure their partners and themselves.

Orgasm is one of the easiest forms of altered consciousness there is. You don't even need another person, although it's much better that way. Because a well performed rite can be ecstatic, I often use sexual metaphors to describe Pagan beliefs and practices.

Even though I enjoy sex tremendously and frequently, and even though I pride myself on my ability to play the nerves of my sexual partners, I'm going to stress my single biggest quote from this site.

I know of no ethical Pagan practice that
involves non-consensual sex.

Now I will admit that this is one place where my libertarian beliefs are definitely shaping my thoughts. If you don't choose, then you shouldn't have to do it. Period.

If someone deceives you, it's NOT about magick. It's about them taking advantage of you to get their jollies.

That's why stories like this really make me furious. Two-bit con men out to pervert something life affirming and wonderful into something slimy and disgusting and shameful.

We really have to do something about it. Jason Pitzl-Waters at the Wild Hunt Blog is right about that. And I say that as a sexual libertine with poly tendencies. I say that as a solitary who routinely distrusts the idea of a "Pagan community."

If it's not consent, it's not right.

End of story.

And end of entry.