My comments on the “Billy Graham rule”
“If anything can go wrong, it will — and in the most annoying manner possible.”
NeoNotes — Rape culture
❝Rape is a terrible thing. Pagans and heathens have had more than our share of bad apples. We tend to attract the outliers and nonconformists.
But, America is not a rape culture. I won't speak for Europe. Not anymore.
The #MeToo movement never could have happened in a rape culture. It would not have been allowed. There would not be news stories about rape. Men would not be willing to talk to women about consent and mutual pleasure from sex. Nor would women have the right to own property, to vote, and to accuse rapists.
I bet that for every one person in America that thinks rape is acceptable, I can find thousands who don't. In those thousands, I bet that I can find hundreds who might decide a very physical response was appropriate. Personally I think removing body parts might be a good start.
By all means, do as you will to raise awareness of consent. Do what you can so people can enjoy sex with someone they care about. Respect each other and each other's boundaries.
But America is not a rape culture.
Thinking about it, that may be what bothers me most.
I firmly believe that most people are decent. I think I resent the implication that most men and women (yes, I said women) can't be trusted to behave themselves. There are always going to be bad elements, but most people are basically good no matter what their "race," gender, sexuality, or taste in socks. I resent the implication that people basically can't be trusted.
I think one of my pass-alongs sums it up.
“The people who pay attention to the law aren't the ones you have to worry about.”
Pardon, but I think there is a difference between rapes occurring and rape culture.
Perhaps I am mistaken, but I think a rape culture actively and legally encourages rape. The examples that leap to mind are certain Islamic groups and nations.
We have thieves, but we do not live in a theft culture. We have murders, but we do not live in a murdering culture.
Rape is a terrible thing and absolutely should be punished. But not every person is a rapist, nor is every man. Today women are much more likely to be believed if they report a rape, that wasn't necessarily true twenty or thirty years ago. At the same time, I read about some of the things happening in Europe and Africa right now (even leaving out the Middle East) and I don't think American women have the slightest idea what a real rape culture is.
It's easy to toss the phrase around, but that doesn't mean it's accurate.
That isn't the case with most of American society and culture.
I will grant you that is glamorized and celebrated by certain very visible people. I also think that some if not most "feminist allies" call themselves that and say the "right" things so they can take advantage.
What I see is the assumptions and punitive measures taken against people (men & women) who don't rape or even think about it. And then I see abusive behavior excused if the person happens to have the right politics or connections, like what happened prior to #MeToo.
It's not even a matter of "all men are rapists." Almost all men aren't rapists and would be horrified if it happened to someone they know, much less care for. At the same time, men are castigated if they dare give an admiring look, or actually hold a door open for somebody.❞
NeoNotes are the selected comments that I made on other boards, in email, or in response to articles where I could not respond directly.
My third sex rule
Thursday, 29Nov2018 Filed in: quotes & thinkums⭐︎ sex
NeoNotes — “J'accuse ...!” - updated
❝I make it a practice to never call it history until a year and a day after the event.❞— NeoWayland
Love on the rocks
Friday, 30Nov2007 Filed in: modern adult pagans⭐︎ sex
