Validating your faith


Be true to yourself first

We're social creatures. We need contact with others to grow and thrive. More importantly we need the validation of others at least some of the time.

Modern Neopagans have more than our share of misfits. Some of it is because we tend to be unconventional. Some of us are noticeably unconventional and apparently unbound by the rules of society. And some people call themselves Neopagan just for the attention.

No matter what I do, Pat Robinson is not going to sing my praises on the 700 Club. Fred Phelps is not going to invite me to take the pulpit at the Westboro Baptist Church. Benny Hinn is not going to take my advice. But then I haven't met these men, I've no real desire to meet them, and I don't approve of their actions or beliefs. I don't need to be validated by them.

My family is different. Even if my stepsibs don't share my faith, I would expect them to at least respect it out of the respect and love that we share. It wasn't always necessarily so, but things are cool now. I do need to be validated by them for what I am.

Neighbors are different. Some I can take or leave, some I try to ignore, and some I honor because they've shown they are worthy of respect and trust. Most I try to give the benefit of the doubt to just because I don't know enough about them to judge and I hope they would give me the same courtesy.

Now one of my neighbors may be a real estate agent and have his own office. At his office, everyone jumps when he says so and does doubletime on the way down. But unless he and I are doing business, that shouldn't influence how he and I act towards each other.

Say that the Mayor of Chicago visited Flagstaff. Now he may be treated as an important visitor, but nothing gives him the authority over the city of Flagstaff or any of it's employees.

And that brings us to the so-called "Pagan community."

In a nutshell, there are many people who claim authority and power that they do not possess. What's more, if they had the experience, they wouldn't have to claim it.

Now I may argue that self-initiation is valid or not. But even I recognize that most of the people claiming self-initiation are doing it for the attention and not the faith. Some few are self-dedicated, and a ridiculous small number are actually self-initiated.

Others claim higher authority for the attention. Maybe Elderhood, maybe High Priest/ess, maybe some purely invented title. But you can't be a leader without leaving tracks.

My grandfather's death taught me that the worth of a person is in the lives he touches. If someone really is a leader, there are others who can speak to his abilities and character. And a real leader wouldn't step into someone else's yard without being invited or unless the need was dire.

Somebody who gets authority from a title never had authority to begin with. The title is just the formal recognition.

Be true to yourself. Honor your friends and family. Look there for your validation, because those are the only places that matter.

Posted: Fri - February 17, 2006 at 11:17 PM
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